Saturday, November 07, 2009

Out of Place

Have you ever lived an outcast's life? If affirmative, mail me now with vivid description. We can talk.

When you have been encouraged to disagree all your life, it seems suffocating to trek eighteen miles in a straight line of conservative humans starting one cloudy morning. My cloudy morning has lasted longer than two years with several indefinitely procrastinated trips to a mental health facility not far away. Soon, I might be a permanent resident in the aforementioned facility.

Mortals who knew this author in her formative years would remember her as an extrovert who wouldn't spare a moment's silence. Couldn't spare a moment's silence, rather. The trek has flipped things. She now hunches in a chair from dawn to dusk, light years away from mortals of her species, pursuing a much-detested activity that would soon be her means of eking out a living. In absolute quiet.

Every dawn, she stirs with the hope of a pleasant conversation with enjoyable company at her workplace, even if it lasts only minutes, that could kill the frustration of being compelled to pursue something she passionately disliked. A chat, a laugh..whatever.

Hope.

(Had she not found a pet hamster, she wouldn't have sustained the head injury.)